So I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was mad into cycling.
(I keep making the mistake of sexting. I’m not sure what effect that has, but I’ve decided it’s not great, as it tends not to last long after things get physical.)
I found out the night before that he had a beard. But in reality it was short and I liked it. So overall, the first date was lovely. We went to a pub. He was attractive, not phwah, but lovely lips and nice bod from what I could tell. Large bald spot, but I figured…..he’s tall so I won’t see it much. We chatted, got on well, talked about sex some more. I made the mistake of talking about prostate massage….possibly avoid that next time. Still, we were both keen to have a second date.
So I was due to go away for two weeks. He kept suggesting times when we could meet for an hour, but it was too much of a squeeze. I put going away back a day to fit in another date as two weeks is a long time. He said he was free from 12, but had to be home for about 4. 4 hours seemed plenty of time.
The day of the date dawned. I got a text about half 10 saying he was going it for food so it might be later than 12. Then not far off 12 another to say his friends had not yet arrived. I told him to sack them off and come to the pub we were meeting at, but a while later he text to say he had just ordered and it would likely be 2. I was FUMING!! I’d put my holiday back for the date and felt like I was on some stupid conveyor belt. I told him if he wasn’t there by half 1 he shouldn’t bother coming over. In the end we met in my local pub. He apologised profusely and I made it clear it would not happen again or that would be the end. We played a board game, there was sexual tension and we kissed. He came back to mine for a little fooling around. It was fun. We agree to meet up again after my holiday.
But then, the following week, while I was visiting my dad in hospital after an operation, I got a text from him to say there want enough spark……doh!
There was enough to want to get half naked though. I felt kind of embarrassed 😳
Gosh time flies!
Well the latest is that ‘9 Second Man’ is my best friend, but not my lover. It’s been a fairly easy transition. And I’ve stated dating again.
The first guy I met since I’ve lived in this area was lovely. Unfortunately I’d been struggling with my health. When I arranged to meet him it was at a coffee shop. I drank a coffee quite quickly while I was waiting for him and it turns out that’s not a good idea when you’ve been suffering with dizziness. I nearly fell off but stool! I think it totally freaked him it walking round town with me holding his arm so I didn’t fall over! We got on well, but although I knew he was younger, he seemed a lot younger than me and very sweet. Still he took it well and had another date lined up within a matter of days when I told him that!
The second guy I dated was a German. He was very tall and VERY quirky. We first met up in a pub for a few drinks. His compliments were terrible “your hair looks very dry” and he was very intense, holding my hand for a bit too long and staring into my eyes. We both said some corkers, him telling me he had a wart on his finger (should have lied) and me telling him if I could have anyone to a dinner party it would be Hitler. Luckily he saw the funny side. What I’d meant was I think I’d want to ask him what he was thinking! I had recently Seen on a programme where he was portrayed very differently.
The second date was at my local pub playing board games. That was fun. I want sure if I fancied him. He was very attractive. I knew during the third date though. We went to the town where he lives and to an art gallery. I just felt he was too physically close to me and knew I didn’t want anything physical. I guess it forced me to make a decision. Sadly he didn’t want to stay friends. I think he’s a cool guy and if have liked to have met up for board game nights, but it wasn’t to be!
So it’s been a long time since my last post……why? Because I have been seeing someone. Who? 9 Second Man!
We were really good friends for months. He knew I had applied for a new job several hours away and I was really shocked to get it (turns out I was the only one interviewed!) But we decided (after the sexual tension had mounted) that maybe we’d just have some fun before I moved. Only it wasn’t all fun. I had a really bad run of health problems culminating in really hurting my back. He was amazing. He would come round every couple of days and do my washing up, bring me shopping and watch TV with me. I think he liked looking after me and being miles away from any family, I really needed it. I was miserable. I’m not sure what I’d have done without him.
So now I have moved. We are seeing each other every 3-4 weeks. It’s lovely. We talk on the phone every day and text all the time. We have great fun together. But……there’s always a but…..is it enough? The idea of losing him really upsets me. However three months after moving I realise I need more excitement. He still isn’t really naughty enough for me. We have always said it’s only going to be temporary and I feel like things are winding down. He’s said things won’t change that much, we will still see each other and chat as often. I hope he’s right!
It’s really made me wonder what love actually is and what makes a good relationship. He is such a lovely guy, I’m disappointed it couldn’t have developed more. But I think I’ve had a better time with him than I have with some guys I’ve really fancied. Plus I’ve spoken to friends who have had such a spark in the early days, but fell out of love after years of marriage….is that inevitable?
So I had a second date with ‘9 Second Man’at the weekend.
We went to this cool board game bar (my choice), where you can play any of the multitude of board games they have on the shelves in there. We had fun playing board games for a couple of hours, so much so that I forgot we were on a date. When we were leaving and deciding to go for a coffee afterwards, I was suddenly thinking…ahhh I haven’t even thought about what I want to happen with this guy. I kept thinking…………he’s attractive….he’s nice…..but I don’t know if that’s enough?
There seems to be no special formula for dating. I thought originally you had to feel a ‘spark’ on the first date, but I’ve since found that not to be the case, sometimes it grows. So what wasn’t working here? Is he too nice? Do I need a bit of naughtiness (yes!), do I need someone who is going to take the lead at times (surprisingly maybe!).
So we went for a coffee and as we were both starving we also then had dinner. I realised somewhere along the line, during our two dates I’d friend-zoned him….but why? I think because he was nervous….(I like guys who are confident)…because he didn’t really flirt and he didn’t always rise to my flirty comments over Whatsapp……and because there wasn’t enough banter for me.
I’m lucky in that I don’t tend to get friend-zoned much myself. I think it’s because I talk about sex too much and I am a flirt. I’m no oil painting, but I am quite confident.
So he was disappointed when I told him…..but so was I. On the plus side, I think I’ve made another friend….and we need friends more than we need boyfriends right?! 🙂
So I went on a date with a new guy the other night. We had been chatting for a while. We seem to have a lot in common. He loves cats and he works in a caring job role, with children.
We met up at an ice cream parlour (my idea). It was nice. We chatted lots…had a coffee and then went to a nearby bar for a few drinks. There wasn’t a lot of flirting though. Should I expect flirting on a first date? He is very nice and he’s attractive….I’m not sure if he isn’t a bit too nice though? Makes me think….what am I looking for? I wonder if it’s because he didn’t really flirt with me. There wasn’t really any banter and there were no innuendos. I think he was nervous….I don’t usually go for guys who get nervous.
Anyway, I’m going to go on another date and see how I feel after. One date is often not enough, but two is often when you know if it’s a no no.
Okay….I might have to wait until the ‘plenty of fish’ stocks replenish! I am just swiping left over and over 😦
So I have a few things related to ‘memories’ to mention.
My memory is pretty crap. I have dated 5 guys since May (we’re talking 2 or more dates) and there have been a couple of one-off-not-likely-to-see-again dates, plus the various other guys I have messaged, who for whatever reason I haven’t arranged dates with. Now that is a lot of conversations and dates to remember. I realised a couple of times I’m not doing very well at it. Yesterday I was at the marina with a friend and she said….do you remember last time we met here?….well I had the vaguest recollection. Possibly because I have had 2 dates with guys down there too!
Also, when I was on a date with a guy I’d seen a few times, I assumed he didn’t eat seafood or fish….but that was a different chap… oooops!
On the plus side I haven’t called anyone the wrong name yet (hope I haven’t jinxed it now) and on one date, the guy I was with accidentally called his ex ‘the Mrs’. To be fair I thought it was funny (probably wouldn’t have been if it was in the bedroom)!
Now I also have the opposite problem. I have all these memories caught up in my head of lovely dates with different guys. So going to places in town or hearing songs on the radio….sometimes they just fall into my mind. I have clothes and trainers I have bought when I was out with one guy or another and lots of funny little anecdotes, but I feel a bit sad when I remember them.
My poor brain doesn’t know whether it is coming or going!
How does everyone else manage the memories?