I’m going to keep updating this post with the odd things guys have said to me online!
One guy said I was a “vampire” (apparently because I look like I never age).
Another guy called me “swanly neck”.
“Mmmmmm nice ;)”
“Hell” (not sure where this was going)
Soooooo I made a really funny mistake yesterday.
I saw what I thought was a penis photo on a profile and I was all ready to report it. I saw something which looked fleshy and flaccid and I didn’t want to look to closely. I thought I’d better check, so I clicked into it…….well…..it was actually a newborn puppy! I know it sounds really silly, but I guess, because it was against it’s mother’s tummy (also pink) it looked rude! You’ll have to trust me!
Well it turns out he actually was a bit of a dick! he doesn’t drive and lives an hour away. I said I would be happy to drive, but not every time, so it probably wouldn’t work. He was very rude and said I was ‘no loss’! Charming!
Maybe the photo was a subliminal clue to his personality!!
Onwards and upwards!
So I’ve been on two more dates with a new guy. As you may have guessed from the title, he’s separated from his wife and soon to be divorced. He has two children and was clear he doesn’t want any more. I am undecided and so I thought, what the hell, he’s attractive let’s give it a go.
I did my usual thing of letting it get a bit too intense too quickly via messaging. I decided we should speak on the phone before we had a date. After the phone call I kinda knew he probably wasn’t for me. But I wanted to meet up anyway. We’d planned to go to an exhibition on the Saturday, but I got a bit panicky and wanted to meet sooner, so we went to a pub for a few drinks earlier in the week. We seemed to have a lot in common. He looked great. There was probably something about his personality that didn’t quite do it for me, but it was this noise he made that was the biggest turn off for me. Like a hum through his nose? He obviously had no idea he was doing it and I’m sure other women might find it cute?
Anyway, so we went to the art exhibition yesterday and then sat in the sun for a few drinks. We had a lovely time, but I didn’t change my mind. I told him later I’d like to be friends and he agreed, so hopefully we’ll go and do something else arty in a few weekends time.
I’ve decided there is no point trying to work out the secret formula for what I want and who would be right for me. It’s just too complicated. I need to just go on dates and (hopefully) see when it feels right!
Nice to have a friend out of it 🙂 And the search goes on……..
So I told ‘Tall Guy’ last night that I didn’t want another date.
I think I was more upset than he was.
I knew he was busy in the day and would be busy until the latter part of next week. I suggested we have a phone chat, but he pre-empted me by asking via WhatsApp if I wanted another date! Well, it’s not me to lie or to give a vague answer, so I told him the truth…that I didn’t know.
He was very sweet about the whole thing and he rang me. We chatted for an hour about things. It was such a frank conversation and I think, although I always find it upsetting ending things, if you can have an honest chat like that and really give reasons, it helps you both. The last guy who ended it with me did it via WhatsApp messages and I think that’s pretty cowardly!
Ahhh where do I start?
So we decided we wanted another date. He came over to my flat after work. We had a takeaway and watched a film. I wasn’t on top form as I have a long term condition which causes me pain and it was playing up. He was really sweet and gave me a lovely massage. He’d been very sweet about it earlier in the day and I’d wondered….is he too good to be true?
I feel torn….he’s lovely. Caring and attractive and very keen. But a part of me feels like something is missing. A few times in conversation I felt like…wow we are really different. And conversation didn’t flow as much as it has with other people. We chatted about some really personal topics and I felt a bit…uncomfortable. Also he left at 11pm and I kinda felt like that was enough. I know how I’ve felt with one or two other guys and it was…”I don’t want you to go”, so that to me was a sign. The human heart is very complicated though because I don’t know exactly why I feel like I do. What do I tell him?
So how did it go?
Good…I think! So we decided to go for a Thai meal to start with, which was nice as we could chat without it being too intense. I suppose I hadn’t thought what we would do after, but we didn’t have starters or pudding, so it was over quite quickly. We went to a nearby bar, which was quite quiet so we could talk.
So he’s an attractive guy. He has a lovely face and he’s tall (a foot taller than me which may be a problem for kissing as I have a bad neck ) He does a practical job with his hands, but he’s also involved with his family business, so he’s a busy guy. He has ADHD and dyslexia. I kinda figured the dyslexia from his messages and I’m not bothered by that. The ADHD is interesting as I haven’t come across many adults with it (or none who have mentioned it). So the thing I noticed is that he was pretty distracted by things going on around him and it made it a. more difficult to tell if he was a. interested in what I was saying and b. he was harder to read in general. There were more silences that I am usually comfortable with, but he pointed out that silence isn’t a bad thing. He did make a bit less eye contact, but it will be interesting to see what changes if we carry on seeing each other.
So right now, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic. We have another date planned for Friday.
I made the mistake of going back online to check my messages…and he was online. Very hypocritical, but I felt a bit nervous seeing him online! It’s that ‘what are the rules of when you should stop checking your messages and/or messaging other people’ dilema. When should you put all your eggs in one basket?
So I have a first date with a new guy tonight (leaving in about 15 minutes!!).
After ‘Dick pic guy’ (see previous post) I decided to chat on the phone before meeting. We chatted for over an hour and a half last night, so I’m hopeful we’ll at least have enough to talk about!
We are going out to dinner, which I don’t usually do, but he’s driving for an hour each way so I feel we should make it a bit more substantial and I’m a bit bored of ‘drink dates’.
Wish me luck, I’ll let you know how it goes!