Daily Post Prompt: Cheat
Should you ever trust a guy who has cheated in the past?
I’ve arranged a date with a guy who admitted he cheated in the past 6-7 years ago. He felt guilty straight away and ended it…but he never actually told her (I think she worked it out). Should you judge people on their past? Is it true what they say….once a cheat always a cheat?
I’ve decided to go on the date tomorrow anyway and see what he’s like. I’m lucky in that I don’t believe I’ve ever been cheated on. Hopefully this isn’t a mistake.
It’s quite an important thing to consider….whether or not to go out with a guy with a child from a previous relationships. I’ve found the following things (so far) which might crop up:
- They have less time to arrange dates
- they are tied to one area to live because the have to be close to the Mum’s house/kids’ school
- Some of the guys I’ve spoken with had unprotected sex and were surprised the girl got pregnant!! (does that say something about their personality or just that they were young and stupid??)
- You are going to have your own opinions of how to bring up kids, whether you have your own or not
- What if you might want your own children…..does he?….will it be even more complicated?
- Some guys will ALWAYS put their children first in all things. Which is fine, but as a child I didn’t get everything I wanted and I didn’t get my parents’ attention all the time.
On the plus side it does make men learn how to tie ponytails and what to buy their children for birthdays and Christmas!
I’ll let you know if I have any more experiences with single Dads (there seems to be a lot out there).
*update- I did date another single dad, but we only had four dates, so I don’t know if I know any more that I can add here*
So…. you haven’t heard much from me over the last few weeks.
That would be because I was sort of seeing someone.
I agreed with ‘Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ that we’d see each other as friends, which developed to ‘friends with benefits’, but we became more than that. It was confusing, because we had a great time together and we had a lot in common, but there were a few things still putting me off. But he really did grow on me. So we kind of decided that we’d try dating and ‘see how it goes’. I was a bit worried about hurting him, but I knew I wanted to keep seeing him.
So one night earlier this week, after we’d had some really great dates….things started to unravel. He seemed irritable and I seemed to keep doing the wrong thing! I popped round the next day to pick up some stuff I’d left there and he said the old corker “we need to talk”. He wants to go back to being just friends.
I asked him what changed (he literally seemed to change during that night, but I don’t know what triggered it). He said he doesn’t fancy me as much now. Ouch! He also said he felt “a bit smothered”. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, I guess we should have just kept clearer boundaries and maybe not agreed to just ‘see how it goes’.
Dating can be really damaging to the ego! I’m left thinking…..what is wrong with me? It’s difficult to really learn from it either as you never find out anything specific. I think I was maybe a bit too affectionate. Should you hold yourself back though? What is being true to yourself and who you are, and what is ‘playing it cool’? I didn’t know he was feeling like that, he seemed to want to progress it to a relationship. He asked me questions about what I am looking for long term etc.
So I’m back on the dating horse. I’ve missed the excitement a little. I think in reality, we both liked the attention, but I fancied the guy before him more. Feelings are very complicated though aren’t they! It’s hard to separate them.
I think I need someone more emotionally open. I couldn’t ever read him to know what he wanted and actually I was less relaxed because of it!
Should you write a guy off if he sometimes has bad breath? I’m not talking terrible, but just….none too fresh? I was once seeing this really hot guy who sometimes could do with some gum. I kept giving us both gum, saying I had a funny taste in my mouth…..but you can’t keep it up forever. Should you say something about it or end it?
Okay, so a local trainee doctor sent me a message on Okcupid. He’s ten years younger than me (mid 20s, where I’m mid 30s). He asked if I think he’s too young? Is he? I don’t know! I still get IDed regularly and I probably look late 20s. He has a beard in his photos and doesn’t look any younger than the other guys I’ve gone on dates with. I guess it depends on whether we have enough in common, what we both want and whether we are both on the same level (whatever that means!).
I’ll investigate and let you know!
Turns out he was too young. We chatted a bit and he came across as quite immature. Then I just stopped hearing from him. Well that answered that then……. I’ve changed my search criteria to 27+.
So on Thursday night I went out on a first date with a new guy.
I wasn’t sure about him as he doesn’t have the look I usually go for. Actually he was better looking that his WhatsApp profile picture suggested. We went out for dinner (we split it) after going to look at an exhibition. We then went to a whisky bar (no I don’t like whisky).
So how was it?……I’m not even really sure. I think I felt a little underwhelmed. He is interesting and there was banter….but I was left feeling like I would never be able to read him emotionally. Perhaps he has become a little too much like the stone he carves? He also said he had another date lined up for Saturday. I realise we hadn’t agreed to date exclusively or anything, but I like to at least feel he would consider it if the date went well!
Perhaps I am also influenced by seeing ‘Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ as a “friend” which has been fun.
Ach the world of internet dating (or maybe just the world in general) remains as complicated as ever!