Back to Square One

So…. you haven’t heard much from me over the last few weeks.

That would be because I was sort of seeing someone.

I agreed with ‘Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ that we’d see each other as friends, which developed to ‘friends with benefits’, but we became more than that. It was confusing, because we had a great time together and we had a lot in common, but there were a few things still putting me off. But he really did grow on me. So we kind of decided that we’d try dating and ‘see how it goes’. I was a bit worried about hurting him, but I knew I wanted to keep seeing him.

So one night earlier this week, after we’d had some really great dates….things started to unravel. He seemed irritable and I seemed to keep doing the wrong thing! I popped round the next day to pick up some stuff I’d left there and he said the old corker “we need to talk”. He wants to go back to being just friends.

I asked him what changed (he literally seemed to change during that night, but I don’t know what triggered it). He said he doesn’t fancy me as much now. Ouch! He also said he felt “a bit smothered”. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, I guess we should have just kept clearer boundaries and maybe not agreed to just ‘see how it goes’.

Dating can be really damaging to the ego! I’m left thinking…..what is wrong with me? It’s difficult to really learn from it either as you never find out anything specific. I think I was maybe a bit too affectionate. Should you hold yourself back though? What is being true to yourself and  who you are, and what is ‘playing it cool’? I didn’t know he was feeling like that, he seemed to want to progress it to a relationship. He asked me questions about what I am looking for long term etc.

So I’m back on the dating horse. I’ve missed the excitement a little. I think in reality, we both liked the attention, but I fancied the guy before him more. Feelings are very complicated though aren’t they! It’s hard to separate them.

I think I need someone more emotionally open. I couldn’t ever read him to know what he wanted and actually I was less relaxed because of it!






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