Dating Dilemmas 10……Negotiating the Relationship Rules

Rule 1…..Should you stay in contact and meet up with former lovers?

This is something I’d never really thought about before. But with the current guy I am seeing (3 dates and a million whatsapp messages down) it’s cropped up. I don’t suppose I’ve ever really been with a guy who’s had lots of interaction with an ex. For me, I tend to be if we aren’t together I don’t want to stay friends…however, I am meeting up up with ‘Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ tomorrow night as friends and although ‘Single Dad’ is fine about it, he doesn’t want to know anything. I wouldn’t even really count Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ as an ex, but it’s still pretty fresh, so I can see why ‘Single Dad’ is uncomfortable. Having said that he is in touch with many of the people he has been with/slept with. I said if it upset him I wouldn’t want to stay friends with the other guy, but he feels that would mean he was dictating who I can see and who I can’t.

What is right in this situation? Should you be able to see exes or not? What should the rule be?

Rule 2. Who can you discuss your sex life with?

He remarked that he has 2 close female friends who he is likely to discuss our sex life with (platonic he assures me). It bothers me a bit because they are girls. But I can’t say why that is. I hope he doesn’t go into too much detail! Still at least he mentioned it….although maybe it would be better if he just did it and didn’t tell me in advance!

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