So it’s been a long time since my last post……why? Because I have been seeing someone. Who? 9 Second Man!
We were really good friends for months. He knew I had applied for a new job several hours away and I was really shocked to get it (turns out I was the only one interviewed!) But we decided (after the sexual tension had mounted) that maybe we’d just have some fun before I moved. Only it wasn’t all fun. I had a really bad run of health problems culminating in really hurting my back. He was amazing. He would come round every couple of days and do my washing up, bring me shopping and watch TV with me. I think he liked looking after me and being miles away from any family, I really needed it. I was miserable. I’m not sure what I’d have done without him.
So now I have moved. We are seeing each other every 3-4 weeks. It’s lovely. We talk on the phone every day and text all the time. We have great fun together. But……there’s always a but…..is it enough? The idea of losing him really upsets me. However three months after moving I realise I need more excitement. He still isn’t really naughty enough for me. We have always said it’s only going to be temporary and I feel like things are winding down. He’s said things won’t change that much, we will still see each other and chat as often. I hope he’s right!
It’s really made me wonder what love actually is and what makes a good relationship. He is such a lovely guy, I’m disappointed it couldn’t have developed more. But I think I’ve had a better time with him than I have with some guys I’ve really fancied. Plus I’ve spoken to friends who have had such a spark in the early days, but fell out of love after years of marriage….is that inevitable?
How important is sexual compatibility? It’s something we never really discuss isn’t it!
Now I have certain tastes that are not uncommon, but not shared by everyone…..but I’ve found a surprising number of men like to do what I also like. I was surprised to find one to be honest (don’t worry it’s not that kinky!). I have wondered whether something on my dating profile or in my photos somehow subconsciously gives it away. I mean literally the last 5 or more guys I’ve been with have had the same preferences as me….that’s got to be more than a coincidence!
But how important is it? We all like to think sex is not the be all and end all…I agree…..but it would suck if you had very different tastes….would it ultimately be untenable?
Should you write a guy off if he sometimes has bad breath? I’m not talking terrible, but just….none too fresh? I was once seeing this really hot guy who sometimes could do with some gum. I kept giving us both gum, saying I had a funny taste in my mouth…..but you can’t keep it up forever. Should you say something about it or end it?
So on Thursday night I went out on a first date with a new guy.
I wasn’t sure about him as he doesn’t have the look I usually go for. Actually he was better looking that his WhatsApp profile picture suggested. We went out for dinner (we split it) after going to look at an exhibition. We then went to a whisky bar (no I don’t like whisky).
So how was it?……I’m not even really sure. I think I felt a little underwhelmed. He is interesting and there was banter….but I was left feeling like I would never be able to read him emotionally. Perhaps he has become a little too much like the stone he carves? He also said he had another date lined up for Saturday. I realise we hadn’t agreed to date exclusively or anything, but I like to at least feel he would consider it if the date went well!
Perhaps I am also influenced by seeing ‘Soon-to-be-Divorced Guy’ as a “friend” which has been fun.
Ach the world of internet dating (or maybe just the world in general) remains as complicated as ever!
Soooooo I made a really funny mistake yesterday.
I saw what I thought was a penis photo on a profile and I was all ready to report it. I saw something which looked fleshy and flaccid and I didn’t want to look to closely. I thought I’d better check, so I clicked into it…….well…..it was actually a newborn puppy! I know it sounds really silly, but I guess, because it was against it’s mother’s tummy (also pink) it looked rude! You’ll have to trust me!
Well it turns out he actually was a bit of a dick! he doesn’t drive and lives an hour away. I said I would be happy to drive, but not every time, so it probably wouldn’t work. He was very rude and said I was ‘no loss’! Charming!
Maybe the photo was a subliminal clue to his personality!!
Onwards and upwards!
I’ve been online dating on and off for years. I’ve decided to start this blog because I thought….I can’t believe some of the things that have happened and I think it would be interesting to share some of my odd experiences with other people. Feel free to share some of your experiences and weird stories too!
I’ve recently had some….almost success…I saw two guys for 3-4 dates. The first guy was lovely. We got on really well, he was studying to be a counsellor and loved cats (I love cats too)….but he confided he’s got issues with alcoholism and a mental health problem and isn’t in the right place for a relationship. The second guy I fancied, he’s a part time magician and we had 4 lovely dates including the last one, going to a lovely local historic town. We got on really well and seemed to gel….until he decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I was gutted. But I decided to get back on the horse and go back on Tinder and Plenty of Fish. There must be some attractive, intelligent guys who aren’t commitment phobes??
So it’s June 2016. Very recently I have been chatting to a guy from Tinder for a few days. I saw his pictures and from chatting on WhatsApp I got him to send me a few more and I was….underwhelmed. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I’m in my mid thirties and ‘curvy’. I wear glasses, which I think guys seem to either really like or really don’t like. But still, fancying a guy physically seems important and I was unsure about this new guy. I decided to chat to him on the phone as that’s a good way of weeding out the guys that are totally not my type. First thing I noticed…a smokers cough…and he sounded a bit rough…maybe his accent? But he wants to do an OU degree, then do a masters in criminology, so I thought…maybe I’ll preserve and try not to be too judgemental. His questions to me were…what car do I drive and what is my favourite drink….not exactly deep stuff. He then said he’s dominant in the bedroom (oh dear!) so I decided that’s it, the smoking, the photos and sex stuff…so I ended the call and sent him a WhatsApp message saying thanks but no thanks….the next thing…I get a dick pic! Well at least my instincts were right. I want a guy who is a bit naughty, but why do some guys think all girls want dick picks????….So it’s back to the drawing board.